Choose Not To Be Harmed

I’ve just read a post on LinkedIn that I needed to write about before I forget what a great lesson it is.

In response to a comment on his post, the OP quoted Marcus Aurelius who said,

Choose not to be harmed — and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed — and you haven’t been.

I think that is such an important lesson for people today. It seems like a lot of folks go around with a chip on their shoulders, looking for reasons to be offended or harmed. My observation is that if you are looking to be offended, you will find at least 15 things a day to be offended at.

But what does that bring into your life?

Hurt, anger, turmoil, discontent. And in my experience, most of the time the other person had no intention of causing offense or harm, and often no idea that they did.

Then what is the alternative?

I submit that a better way is to approach life, and other people, with at least a neutral attitude, and better yet, a positive one. Rather than looking for a reason to be hurt or offended, expect to be treated kindly, or at least politely. If something is said or done that could cause offense, don’t take it. Rise above it. Overlook it and move on. Even if the other person did mean to give offense, choose not to take it.

My husband used to occasionally make remarks or throw barbs to “get a rise” out of me. When I chose not to respond he would sometimes say that I “didn’t get it”. I would tell him, “I overlook a lot, but I don’t miss much”, meaning I was not oblivious to his attempts to goad me but I was choosing to not engage, not to take offense. Then I truly did put it behind me.

It’s not about who they are.

It’s about who you are, and you can choose who you want to be.

Choose to treat every person with respect, dignity and grace, even if they do not treat you that way. It costs you nothing (well, OK, you might have to hold your temper a bit sometimes) and it can deflect their negativity.

Choose to spread love and peace. Your gentle attitude and kind words may actually make another person’s day. We never know the full impact of our interactions on others.

And what does this positive attitude produce?

Self-respect, peace, contentment, healing, love and the possibility for joy. Choose joy and peace.

If you’re interested in more wisdom from Marcus Aurelius (and there’s a LOT!), you can pick up his book, Meditations, from Amazon. (Yes, that’s my affiliate link. If you make a purchase, I’ll earn a small commission).

#KathyBales #choosenottobeharmed #choosejoy